You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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