you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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