im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
