he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
