yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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