Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
