remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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