You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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