Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
