she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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