please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Welp...herpes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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