the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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