Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
