She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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