she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
