Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
