What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
