I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
