the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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