If i come over, it means nothing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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