I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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