Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
