its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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