Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
only if we run a train.
done.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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