that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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