Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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