my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize