I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
