I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
