well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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