She is in my trunk
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
