Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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