You're my little dorito
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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