K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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