i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
