I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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