we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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