i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
