I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
