Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
