Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
