Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
