i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
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Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??