Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
