Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
