hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
