there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i out mim tonsoeep
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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