He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
