I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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