Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
