bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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