I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think my moral compass just broke
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
