Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
