Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
