I seem to have left my pride at pride
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
