Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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