Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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